Musings

It has sure been a long time since i have been on my blog. I don't think that means that i am a failure, it just means that i am a busy person! This summer was an interesting summer for me. There are many ideas, and thoughts that i have had that have slipped my mind. i have found out that the busier i am, the less i think about and dwell on things. Coming off of a summer of running the baler and heading straight into homework has kept me uber-busy. Sometimes this is not always a good thing. I realize that i can do everything, but i am so busy that i believe my God time has disappeared, not altogether, but it is getting close.
I am taking 19 credits this school year, and i have found that this is quite the load. I am learning that even though i am stressed, that God is still there. i have made every attempt possible to read my Bible, and go to worship services when my schedule permits me these great luxuries. I LOVE JESUS!!! That is one thing i know and will never change no matter how much i may struggle with emotions, and other things happening in my life.
I have a boyfriend now, and that is something that has changed, but i feel like we are both failing miserably at keeping a strong relationship. I genuinely care for him, but i don't think i can continue. He is a beautiful person inside, and loves God as much as i do, but the communication is not happening between us. I am not sure what to do about this anymore because, short of calling him everyday all the time, i can't help or see him. I really feel deserted and unloved, and like he just doesn't care anymore, which looking back at the first month of our relationship, i can see that there are several things that are bothering him, and he just won't tell me what they are. I am going to ask him to tell me why we should break up, or why we shouldn't, i think that this may be the best part for both of us.
I pray that God will help me to be strong, and to show me the way that i need to go with this relationship, and how my boyfriend and I should resolve our issues.
Lord, i will lean on your understandings, and try to trust that everything will work out properly.