MMMMM.....

Why do i struggle so much? How can i know that God is there listening to my prayers? Why do i feel so disconcerted and discontent? I feel like i can't feel God anymore. My heart and mind and soul tell me that He is there and that He has been listening to me struggle with all my issues and everything that has been bothering me lately, but i just can't feel Him. In a way I think it is cause i have been relying on myself instead of remembering that God will help me, and that God is the one that i should lean upon!
What is one of the biggest doubts in my mind? I don't really know if I can answer that. One thing that i have realized is that God is real, and there is no doubt in my mind about that. This is something that i have built my life around in the past two years. He took away my depression for good, and it makes me feel super happy that He did such a thing, and it also showed that God is very much real. There are times that i just can't feel HIm, which makes me doubt whether he is with me at all time, but the Bible tells us that He is always with us, adn for that i am grateful.
Something that i struggle with and I am sure there are lots of girls who struggle with this, is the fact that I am single. I try to be content, but then I get this crush or guy that i start falling for and then i end up getting hurt because he is not the one. Or sometimes, i like somebody and i am scared to tell them that i like them because i am scared that they will reject me and that they think i am the most horrible person in the world. Something that i have decided to do is wait, because i feel that it is the guys place to ask the girl out, not the girls place. Something else that i do, is pray that God will bring the right guy into my life, or that it may be one of the guys that i already know. I pray that God will watch over him and show him to me at the proper time and place.
I thank the Lord everyday for the gift of life and health and happiness and clothing and a roof over my head!
God Bless!!!!