More thoughts

I was sitting in one of my classes today, and instead of paying attention to what my Professor was talking about, well, i did pay attention, cause i took notes, i was writing some of my thoughts on a piece of paper that i tore out of my notebook. What started these thoughts was that one of my friends is stuggling and i really wanted to hug them and let them know that they are loved. But of course, i couldn't, expecially when you are in class with 40 other students. Well, this is basically where my thoughts took me.

Sometimes I feel like I can't talk to anybody. Even though lately i have found it easier to talk to people who are not in my normal circle of friends. I feel like they actually listen to what i am saying, even though others aren't. My friends have been making me feel like i am not important, and that sometimes my life is a waste of time. Why i think this can be beyond me sometimes. This makes me want to concentrate on God a lot more because i know that God cares about what happens to me. No matter how down i feel, or how badly i feel about various things, i know that i can always turn to God.
God is sooooo amazing. He loves me no matter what happens or how bad i feel about myself and my life. I love Him with all of my heart, all of my mind, and with all of my soul. Don't get me wrong, i do question God a lot. This is because i don't understand why all these terrible things happen or why He allows struggling to happen. I personally believe that when we struggle we are better able to get closer to God, and He is better able to work in our lives, whether through another person helping is or praying for us, or just through us praying, and falling on our knees before Him.
There have been many times that something happens and i have yelled at God. Usually i ask him why? Why God? Why do i feel this way? Why do I have to go through this intense loneliness, this pain, this feeling of loss? I have no answers, and i never will, not because God is not talking to me, it is because i can't understand what God is thinking. But when I am stuggling a lot, i start to turn to my Bible, and read His word, and see what He is saying to me in there. One verse that i cling to on a daily basis is Philippian 4:13-"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It may be very hard to deal with my problems on my own, but with God in my life, I can do and make it through everything that he throws at me. I just lean on God, and pray for strength to face the day, and to also be a friend to those in need.
I have learned many lessons in the past couple of years, and the biggest one of these is that we have to trust God in everything, because there are a lot of different things that we can't defeat on our own. One of these things is depression. Yes there are drugs, and other treatments, but i have found the most effective way to get ride of depression is to give it all over to God. Tell him that you are sick of it, you are done with it. Ask Him forgiveness, and ask Him to bless you and watch over you, even though you do stuggle. I turned over my depression to God a couple of years ago, and my life is now very amazing. Since that day i have never had depression, and i know that God took it away because i feel amazing and God's joy is inside of my heart. And His joy is what helps me to get through everyday because there is no such thing as blackness in my soul anymore. His joy is a light that shines out of everybody, and helps to bring happiness to people around you.

Deuteronomy 6:5
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."